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Okay, but what have they done lately? I don't know why anyone is still worried about Osama bin Laden and his al-Qaeda goon squad. They're through, finished, washed up! They got nothin' left! That pathetic bunch of losers went down hill so fast (within minutes) after the initial attack on the World Trade Center that the vicious flower wielding Hare Krishnas pose more of a threat to the average American these days (at least at airports). Oh sure, the attack on the World Trade Center was fairly well executed. Give the devil his due, the guys in the first two planes weren't total morons (at least not retrograde). They basically proved that anyone who could master the Microsoft Flight Simulator could steal airplanes, fly them to New York City, and ram them into buildings that were so excrementally tall that they would actually be hard to miss - a feat which puts them on a par with most ten year old American kids. What puzzles me is how bin Laden picked the crews for the other two planes? What'd he do, choose guys whose IQs added up to the flight number? It's hard to rank the other two in descending order of incompetence. The President's spin-doctors tell us that the plane that hit the Pentagon was actually intended for the White House. Holy Ellipse, Batman! I don't know if you've ever flown into Washington, but to attain the level of incompetence required to miss the White House and have to settle for the Pentagon would require a bunch of legally blind retrograde morons who spent most of the flight in the can with a monster joint, trying to toke up their courage. (Arabs can get the really good Turkish stuff.) I know it's politically desirable to have been the target of a terrorist attack, and god (generic) forbid that George should feel left out, but the suspension of disbelief required for that level of incompetence boggles the mind. It's bad enough to think that they nearly missed a building that is essentially shaped like a BULLSEYE, without making a public relations fairy story out of it. I think that Flight 93 has to take the prize, however. Maybe our government and the news media are just desperate for a bogeyman to replace the "Red Menace," but they talk about the terrorist training camps located throughout the Arab world like they were turning out some sort of invincible holy warriors that make Green Berets look like pansies. Well, I don't know how to break it to the Saudis who are financing them, but they're not getting their money's worth. Their "highly trained" fundamentalist supermen on Flight 93 got their skanky butts thoroughly and completely kicked by a bunch of ORDINARY AMERICANS. They were pranged to death by a bunch of little old ladies with salad forks after the male passengers had removed their more disreputable body parts. (OOH-RAH!) And, what have they done lately? It is claimed that Richard Reid is part of the al-Qaeda network. You know, he's the guy who tried to set fire to his shoes on the flight from London to New York. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. I know he claims that he was working alone, but take a close look at the guy the next time they plaster his face (?) on your TV screen. Forget BUILDING a shoe bomb, that is the face of someone who needs help TYING his shoes. The guy looks like Clem Kadiddlehopper on crack. All anyone still worried about al-Qaeda has to do is picture this pathetic loser cringing in the back of the plane trying to set fire to his shoes, and it's all over but the hysterical laughter. 'Nuff said? I'm not sure whether the Saudis ran out of money (yeah, right), or the Arab world just ran out of talent, but if this is an example of the best terrorists they can field these days we don't need the Marines in Afghanistan. At this rate, the Chillicothe Chamber of Commerce Ladies Auxiliary could kick their pathetic butts. No wonder they can't find bin Laden. Until I started thinking about what a dismal failure he really is, I assumed that he was hiding like a frightened little girl simply because he was wet-pants scared of us. Now, however, I'm beginning to believe that the reason he's harder to find than a fart in a Jacuzzi is at least partly because he is cringing in a hole someplace, ashamed to show his ugly face. He has got to have a case of performance anxiety that even Viagra won't touch. I've heard that those who know him best have taken to calling him "Limpy" bin Laden, in spite of the fact that he does not seem to have a leg injury. |